Iowa Supreme Courts Stands Up For Long-Oppressed Group: Rich White Men
“In our society, rich white men face closed door after closed door,” court spokesperson Monty Pritchett said in a statement after the decision was announced.
View ArticleDid Pac-Man Cause America’s Obesity Epidemic?
Is Pac-Man responsible for this country’s obesity problem? According to U.S. Representative John Marston (AZ), the answer is a resounding yes.
View ArticleToyota Announces Massive Recall for Unreleased Vehicle
This week, Toyota Motor Corporation, announced another massive vehicle recall. In a press release issued on Thursday, Toyota informed the public that “we will be recalling 2-million 2014 Toyota Rav4s...
View ArticleJennifer Lawrence Survives Golden Globes Fight to Win Best Actress
What was supposed to be a joke, ended up staging a live drama, tragedy and thriller in the style of a Tarantino battle royal. The event played out for a full twenty minutes before Jennifer Lawrence was...
View ArticlePaul Ryan: Melting Of Polar Ice Caps Is God’s Way Of Gifting Us Oil
According to Rep. Paul Ryan, although God often works in mysterious ways, clearly the deity’s stance on our nation’s energy policy is to drill, drill and drill some more.
View ArticleCPAC 2013 Speakers Romney & Palin Will Discuss Best Ways To Lose Presidential...
Both Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney seem to be well versed in how to really turn off the American public from ever wanting to vote for them, so they will be revealing their secrets of being defeated to...
View ArticleWord-Control Bill Introduced By Congressman Lindsey Graham Has 1st Amendment...
In response to recent reports of psychological damage inflicted on innocent children (and others) by thoughtless people using cruel, derogatory, degrading or confusing words, South Carolina Congressman...
View ArticleTennessee Bans “Teaching” in Classrooms
On Wednesday morning, the Tennessee Senate passed SB 904 which prohibits the use of “teaching” in public schools.
View ArticleTea Party Worried Obama May Direct Asteroids Directly At Their Bunkers
One local Tea Party group in Arkansas is taking no chances. They have filed a petition with WhiteHouse.gov asking legislators to quickly question President Obama and his administration about the...
View ArticleU.S. Congress Agrees to take 50% Pay Cut
In a surprise move, members of both the House and Senate have unanimously agreed to reduce their salaries by 50% if a new budget deal is not reached by April 1, 2013.
View ArticleSupreme Court Decides Fate Of Heterosexual Divorce
Citing several thousand looming divorces within the heterosexual community and the abundance of shotgun weddings without a proper courting period the Supreme Court has ruled in favor of the dissolution...
View ArticleWhite House Accidentally Orders Drone Strike on Fox News Headquarters
The White House is in crisis mode after accidentally ordering a targeted drone strike on the Fox News Headquarters in New York City. On Thursday, at approximately 2:37 AM, members of the Joint Chiefs...
View ArticleKansas State Senate Passes Bill Declaring “Life begins at a twinkle in a...
"Sen. Mary Pilcher-Cook (R-Shawnee) described the bill saying, "once a child is thought about in the eye of its father it has taken on a true existence. We need to protect and defend that life to the...
View ArticleASPCA & Sarah McLachlan Sued For Inciting Suicide
Did you know that every single hour thousands of people are traumatized by ads featuring sad but cute animals accompanied by the soul-wrenching music of Sarah McLachlan?
View ArticleVirginia: Rape Victims Must Provide Video Proof of Attack to Prosecute
In the land of the free, where a woman is raped every 24 seconds and only 3% of perpetrators ever face jail time, one state is finally fighting back. Virginia is hoping to aid rape victims by...
View ArticleSenate Passes Historic Gun Reform Bill
Beginning immediately all buyers of both new and used water guns will have to undergo a comprehensive background check to ensure they have the mental stability to properly care for and use their weapons.
View ArticleWashington State Seeks Constitutional Amendment Banning Straight Marriage
In a surprising and controversial move, the Washington state legislature is considering an amendment to its constitution defining marriage as only existing between couples of the same sex. The...
View ArticleBush Presidential Library Steals Children’s Books from Local Schools
Librarians from public schools in Dallas, Texas have asked that the Bush Presidential Library return the tens of thousands of children’s books that were borrowed for last week’s opening. John Swift,...
View ArticleArizona’s Gov. Brewer Announces Adopt-a-Gun Program
A Public Disservice Announcement: Somewhere in Phoenix, Arizona a lonely AK-47 awaits its execution. Feeling alone and unwanted, covered in dust and grime it gazes out into a future that it knows it...
View ArticleObama Appoints Profane Sorority Girl Ambassador to North Korea
At Sunday’s press luncheon, President Obama introduced Julia Jacobs as the new U.S. Ambassador to North Korea. Julia, the University of Maryland student whose profanity-laced email to her sorority...
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